How To Navigate Difficult Conversations
By João Abraúl
Sooner or later you will have a difficult conversation with your team. Research shows that 80% of managers believe that difficult conversations are a part of their job. Yet 53% said that they avoid conversations due to a lack of training.
Communications expert Dr. Marcia Reynolds, author of The Discomfort Zone: How Leaders Turn Difficult Conversations Into Breakthroughs, shares her insights on what it takes to have difficult conversations:
Don’t tell the other person what to do.
You’re there to discover what it would take for the person to want the result you want…Once you discover what they want, you can help motivate them to move forward.
Put the other person first.
Enter the conversation with the purpose of helping the other person discover solutions…If they sense you’re there for yourself alone, they will not engage.
Set an emotional intention for the conversation.
If you’re angry or disappointed from the beginning, the other person will never open up. What do you want him or her to feel? Inspired? Hopeful? Use this word as an anchor during the conversation.
Show authentic respect.
Recall the person’s good work and remember that they’re doing their best with that they know how. Even if you disagree with their perspective, honor the human in front of you.
Dealing with conflict isn’t easy, but it’s costly to avoid.
