Find What You’re Meant to Do: Ask Your Friends
By Stéfan
We have all hoped to find a purpose, cause, or belief that will lend meaning to our work lives. But discovering your “why” is easier said than done; it requires deep reflection and an open mind. Leadership expert Simon Sinek advises to start with the “why” in order to discover what you’re meant to do.
To nudge this process along, Sinek recently crafted a short exercise that asks you to seek prompts from a source that has been in right in front of you all along: your friends.
Step 1: Make a list of your three to five closest friends
These are the people you trust and love unconditionally; the people you could call at 3 AM with a dilemma, the people you would travel around the world to help.
Step 2: Ask those people, “Why are you friends with me?”
At first they may not understand the question…they’ll give you answers like “you’re smart, loyal, kind, funny.” All of these things will be true. Tell them, “Good! You’ve successfully defined the word ‘friend’, but why are you friends with ME”.
Step 3: Listen
Keep quiet, keep listening, and most of all, let them keep struggling to find the right words…eventually they will make a shift and start talking about themselves. You will likely feel an emotional connection with this person when they describe themselves and the way they FEEL when they are with you.
Step 4: Clarify
Since you’ve likely never had this conversation with your friend before, use your curiosity about the things they’ve shared to ask more question to clarify what they mean.
Step 5: Compare
As you compare your notes from the conversations you’ve had with different friends, you’ll start to notice that your friends are saying similar things about you. Take those keywords and list them.
Your friends won’t give you all the answers, but you’ll learn more about the kind of value you add to their lives. It’s a great starting point to begin further unravelling who you are and what you want to do; first you need to discover why you do it.
